
This one might need a list of characters:
The FamilyCheery Pie (the former Cheryl Bunterman) - marginally talented pop singer, failed drug rehab patient, and notorious party girl trying to keep the fame going. She is not aware of . . .
Ann DeLuisa - actress and body double for Ms. Pie, standing in for Cherry when Cherry can't stand.
Ned and Janet Bunterman - Cherry's parents. Ned manages the books and favors 3-ways with Danish twins in Palm Springs. Janet enables Cherry, tries to guide her train wreck of a daughter, and boinks her tennis instructor.
The entoura
ge Maury Lykes - sleazeball promoter of Cherry's new CD and tour. Stands to lose a ton of money if the tour fails.
The Lark twins - botoxed image consultants who specialize in stars 1 step away from joining Kurt Cobain.
Chemo (aka Blondell Wayne Tatum) - 7ft monster of a body guard, ex-con, and former mortgage broker who wears a weed wacker as a prosthesis on his left arm after losing it to a barracuda (in an earlier Hiassen novel).
Important not-so-peripheral characters
Tanner Dane Keefe - actor, occasional bed mate for Cherry, and waiting for his latest project, a murder-thriller where he plays a surfer/necrophilic for a Quentin Tarrantino, to hit the theaters. Tenant in the Star Island house where the photo shoot will occur.
Bang Abbott: short, fat paparazzo who has a thing for Cherry, but not for personal hygiene.
Clinton Tyree (aka Skink) - former Vietnam war hero and former governor of Florida from 20 yrs ago who, once he realized how corrupt Florida government was, just walked away and now lives in the Everglades, mostly off road kill meat. Skink is a recurring Hiassen character.
So, Cherry wants to be like Brittney, Lindsey, Madge, yadda, yadda, yadda. Problem is she isn't all that talented. She is a hard party-er and stoned most of her waking hours. The former Cheryl Bunterman has done OK, but the public is finding out that Cherry really isn't all that talented. Bang is kinda obsessed with Cherry and wants to get Cherry for a 1-day photoshoot for a coffee table book. After a couple mishaps, Bang carries out a kidnapping of Cherry, only he gets Ann instead. Skink (who Ann met in the bush when she ran her car off the road) learns of Ann's problem and mounts his white horse - make that he steals a boat - and begins to watch over Ann.
Bang tries to exchange Ann for Cherry for a 1-day photoshoot. Chemo is playing Bang against Maury, Cherry's parents and the Lark twins are trying to compose the spin to hype the new album/tour. The various tentacles of the octopus masquerading as the Bunterman family fall over each other at Pubes, the hot Miami hotspot.
Does any of that make sense?
Probably not, and that is one trait that keeps drawing Hiassen's fans back for more of his stilted view of Florida. Really bizarre characters and ridiculously convoluted plots can be found in all of Hiassen's books. The Governor is my fav. The main foils for Hiassen's poison pen are Florida real estate developers (there's a small, but important secondary plot involving a crooked developer and an unfortunate encounter between his junk and a sea urchin) and anything to do with the celebrity cult, which gets seriously skewered here.
I've read most all his novels and I think each was excellent in their own unique way. Fans of humor novelists will keep coming back to Hiassen. Bang is oily sleazy. Chemo is cunning, frightening, and very large. Ann is spunky and ready to ditch this gig. And poor Cherry (which she wants to change to 'Cherish') is just looking to get high and get laid.
A lot to love here.
East Coast Don